Life has been on fast forward the last two weeks. We moved into our new home...yet we have not fully moved in. It needed quite a bit of work on the front end, which meant we can't quite settle in yet. But we had to get our stuff out of our storage POD, which meant it had to go somewhere. The limbo state we have been living in continues...
We are so grateful for this house. Despite not really being moved in, it still feels like home. But the chaos of moving in and renovations all happened over Christmas. We have been unpacking and cleaning here - while simultaneously packing and cleaning our apartment. We've been moving our sleeping arrangements between floors...we've spent long hours cooped up in the nursery trying to keep Imogen entertained...we've spent lots of time sitting on the floor since we can't have our furniture in the house until the floors are done...
All in all it has been a very busy season. But not busy in the usual holiday way...which normally includes friends, family, cooking, meals, fires, music, Christmas trees...
There was no tree this year. I was really sad about that - because I love our Christmas tree! And to add to it - last year we spent Christmas in the hospital with Imogen. So Christmas didn't feel like Christmas last year either...
So this has me thinking...what is Christmas all about? (Cue Charlie Brown clip here...)
Seriously though. Take away the cookies, the carols, the Christmas trees...and what do we have left?
On Christmas Day I was cooking soup to store in the fridge because our kitchen was going to be unusable for four days. A friend also recently had a baby, so we called to see if they needed soup that day. When they took us up on the offer we packed some up and headed over. And of course I had to spend some time snuggling with the baby. So helpless and small, I was overwhelmed by the beauty of new life. Then we had to rush out to clean our apartment, feed our cats who were still at the apartment, and then get Immy back to the house to nap...rush, rush, rush
After all of the rushing we were driving home and I started to pray out loud...I'm random like that. And I was overwhelmed by the realization that God became a little, tiny, helpless baby...for us. He gave Himself over to us - put Himself in our care...even though we are rather unreliable. He trusted us...not just with His plan, but with His very life (which we know how that turns out...but that is for another season)
As I reflected on this I began to realize while I love all the glitz that comes with the Christmas season...you better believe next year the tree is going up, cookies are going in the oven, and carols will be blasting in our house...Christmas is not about the glitz. For two years now I have missed the "fun" of the season...but this year I experienced the reason for the season (oh yeah, I went there...)
This year one song stood out to me in particular - O Holy Night. I have always loved it, because it is powerful and beautiful. But this year I kept hearing one line over and over again:
"Till He appeared and the soul felt its worth"
Christmas is about so much more than I have made it. I get caught up in the hype and the flash - but I can lose perspective and forget. I can move so fast that I don't let God's incarnation speak to my soul...telling me how much I am worth. I am worth more than the things that show up under my Christmas tree (or in my hallway should there not be a tree...) This is about so much more.
Christmas. What is it all about? It is about God...with us. Here. Now. In the midst of messy hospitals and messy houses...and messy lives. Here in the mess. Christmas - we are not alone. Christmas - all is not lost. Christmas - pain is not the end of the story. Christmas - God cares. Christmas - God sees us. Christmas - we are loved. Unexplainable, passionately, vehemently loved. Christmas - there is reason to hope. Christmas - has your soul felt its worth?
O holy night! The stars are brightly shining,
It is the night of our dear Saviour's birth.
Long lay the world in sin and error pining,
'Til He appear'd and the soul felt its worth.
A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.
Fall on your knees!
O hear the angel voices!
O night divine,
O night when Christ was born;
O night divine, O night,
O night Divine.
Led by the light of Faith serenely beaming,
With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand.
So led by light of a star sweetly gleaming,
Here come the wise men from Orient land.
The King of Kings lay thus in lowly manger;
In all our trials born to be our friend.
He knows our need,
to our weakness is no stranger,
Behold your King!
Before Him lowly bend!
Behold your King,
Before Him lowly bend!
Truly He taught us to love one another;
His law is love and His gospel is peace.
Chains shall He break for the slave is our brother;
And in His name all oppression shall cease.
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,
Let all within us praise His holy name.
Christ is the Lord!
O praise His Name forever,
His power and glory evermore proclaim.
His power and glory evermore proclaim.
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